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托福寫作范文解析
2019-11-04 17:10   作者:新航道   閱讀量:

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【立場:支持正方】

Introduction

完全可以在第一句話的時候暗示立場: Work-related correspondence may be annoying when they happen on weekends during the time outside work hours. 然后第二句話直接表明立場(于是兩句話之間就形成了遞進關系的層次漸進):For this reason, companies should prohibit the exchange of such email during those times, and can except that employees become less bothered.


Body

(關注論證方法)


論證方法一:(說理)反證:

不直接論證不發email有什么好處,而是反過來說發email有多討人厭: A weekend would not be the end of a week if work continues on the two days. The email that discusses work issues is therefore annoying when a week’s work is supposed to have ended before. So is the case with the time outside the office hours on weekdays. 補充說一下,員工本可以用下班時間和周末時間做什么,然后說這個時間如果被占據就很影響狀態:The office hours have the particular length for a reason. Employees need the time-off to revive. They may dorecreational activities as distractions or spend time in solitude or quietness. They may as a result perform well the next day. They would otherwise feel tired, jammed or confused the next day if there were work email, which disturb their rest the evening or night before, and would complain about their jobs and employers. The prohibition of emailing is to prevent the complaint orgrievance and will work.

 

論證方法二:說理后舉例:

設計段落之間的讓步銜接:就算上一個點討論的情況不發生,仍然有別的情況會發生:Even though email may not be received, workers are still likely to feel anxious without the policy that specifically bans emailing. During a good night or weekend, email may pop up anytime and interrupt the good time. Their leisure or personal time interrupted, most employees are likely to complain. 道理講完,用例子去佐證道理,例子要吻合于道理: For example, I used to work at a company that has no such prohibitive regulations. As a result, I was constantly annoyed by the email in the early evening at dinner, during the late night just before I was about to sleep, or in a good weekend afternoon when I was reading an exciting book. Having fed up with the intrusion, I quit the job. By contrast, the company I currently work for bans emailing during inappropriate times, and seldom do I hear complaints about being disturbed after work.


可以補充一個讓步段落,讓論證顯得更客觀,讓讀者覺得你是個“講道理的人”: 

Admittedly, there are a number of other factors, such as low wages,unpromising positions, and poor work environment, contributing to employees’ dissatisfaction, and none ← 通過none實現不在動詞處的否定 of those can be resolved by the ban of emailing during weekends. However,


Conclusion

習作(修改 / 示范)

In conclusion, as the policy that no one can exchange emails on weekends andor during other time out of office hours← 全文早就建立起的語境讓這個內容顯得累贅多余 can make give employees have more time to relax / unwind themselves with a light mood, I hold the opinion believe that the policy can decrease staff’s dissatisfaction with their companies employers beyond doubt ← 避免在句尾贅述拖沓.


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